Things could be much worse...

[Justin]

Most Spine Patients have lived through many years of debilitating pain. However, we have it good--really good. I found out yesterday that a fellow classmate has been diagnosed with cancer; this is the 3rd student to be diagnosed with cancer. We've already lost one of these students.

We, as Spine Patients, don't know how good we have it. Cancer sucks.

[New-disc]

Justin,

I'm with ya!!

In the bigger picture of life.... we really dont have it that bad.

Sorry to hear about your class-mates

Todd

[Dave]

Justin,

Sorry to hear the news. I lost my father to brain cancer at the age of 70. Yes, it really does suck.

No matter how bad you have it, someone else is doing worse. If you wake up the morning and your feet hit the floor, you are better off than a bunch of folks.

[Cindylou]

Justin, I send my deepest condolences as well. Always a travesty when a young life of promise is cut short.
I do, however, think comparing cancer patients to debilitating spine pain sufferers, is a little bit like comparing apples to oranges. Would I want to be a cancer patient? Of course not. However, I equally wish I wasn't a chronic pain sufferer. That carries it's own stigma, especially when one can't "see" your pain. Which begs the question then of: "what does pain look like?" Funny, hard to answer that question when it can be hidden to the naked eye. To many folks, if they can't see the obvious signs of a cane, a wheelchair, a bald head, then they conclude you either don't have pain, or it's just not that bad. I lost my Dad, my Mom, and one of my brothers to cancer, so I am well aware of the ravaging effects of cancer. But I believe suffering with long term chronic pain is no picnic in the park either. (and I know you know that) I know it's therapeutic to believe that someone, many someone's have it worse than myself. And they do. But it also doesn't diminish just what a crap load of pain I am in, and how, on some days, I wish to hell I could just curl up and die. That's it. I just had to put my 2 cents in.

[KBear]

Justin- I'm so sorry to hear that a friend of your has cancer. Just the word 'cancer' is scary, I can't imagine hearing it as a diagnosis. I'll be praying that they caught it early, that it is very treatable and that your friend keeps their head high and beats this!

One of my classmates (I was in a class of 48, in a small town), that I went to school with my whole life, died of colon cancer at 25. She had been diagnosed less than a year before, fought the fight and just couldn't beat it. It was awful, she had just turned 25, was married and had a sweet little 2 year old girl. This was the first death 'our class' had to deal with and it was just so sad and horrible that this could happen to such a bright, sweet, young mother and wife.

My brother has been battling testicular cancer (that had already spread to his stomach and lung by the time it was detected) for 2 years now. He was 29 when he was diagnosed. He immediately had his testicle removed and started chemo. He most recently, earlier this month, had surgery to remove a large tumor from his stomach. The tumor had not responded to chemo and grown instead of shrank. I'm not sure exactly where in his abdomen it was; but know it was wrapped around his cartoid (sp?) artery.

I guess what I'm getting at, is that you just don't expect cancer to hit young people, just seems so not fair. It really makes me wonder what we are doing to ourselves that cancer is so prevalent? I think it has to do with all the chemicals, preservatives and toxins in our food, water, enviroment. It makes you wonder???

CL- I'm sorry you are feeling so crappy, it sucks. I have actually been jealous of cancer patients before. At least if they lose their battle, they get to die. Us, we are just stuck in pain forever. Not to mention, it seems their fight is usually a year or two and then it's over, no such luck with back pain. I have too often wished that I could just lay down and die from this pain, it's too much sometimes. You know, if we were animals, someone would have humanely 'put us to sleep by now'; but no such luck being people.

[Justin]

CL, I'm sorry you are not feeling well and that cancer has affected your family. My Mom is a cancer survivor and my Grandmother had a very brutal battle with cancer (plus other aunts and uncles).

Yes, I am comparing apples to oranges.

I have actually been jealous of cancer patients before. At least if they lose their battle, they get to die. Us, we are just stuck in pain forever. Not to mention, it seems their fight is usually a year or two and then it's over, no such luck with back pain. I have too often wished that I could just lay down and die from this pain, it's too much sometimes. You know, if we were animals, someone would have humanely 'put us to sleep by now'; but no such luck being people.

Hi Kathy,

I'm so sorry that your brother is still fighting his battle with testicular cancer. I do wish him the very best. BTW...I recently had a friend diagnosed with testicular cancer as well. I have to say that I completely disagree with the bolded text above. I do understand what you are saying about those of us that suffer with chronic pain, but I'll take chronic pain any day over the alternative. I've been suffering from chronic pain for half of my life (no exaggeration).

Personally, I don't think death is any relief for cancer patients. Yes, their battle of suffering is over, but I know my friend that passed away last year at 27 said he wished that he "could keep on living" despite his grueling battle with lung cancer. Another friend that died last year at 26 felt the same way.

I worked in a Cancer Center previously and it was an extremely difficult position; however, those patients diagnosed with cancer were some of the strongest and most upbeat people I have ever met in my life. The absolute hardest cases were in the pediatric oncology ward. These kids are faced with a life sentence--death--before they even get to live their lives.

Does chronic pain suck? Yes. Does cancer suck? Yes. Are they equivalent at "sucking" in my mind? Absolutely not. Thankfully, chronic pain is not a terminal illness.

No matter how bad you have it, someone else is doing worse. If you wake up the morning and your feet hit the floor, you are better off than a bunch of folks.

I couldn't agree more Dave. As always, the above is just my .

[KBear]

Maybe it's just the difference of what we are fighting for. With cancer you are fighting to live, to win the battle, for life. With pain, you are living and have life (their fear, not sure if that is the right word, is death); but are fighting to have your life back, without pain (our fear is pain, which is like a living in death). So, a cancer patient goes into it praying for life, we go into it, praying for our life back. When a cancer patient loses their battle, they die and have no more pain from the horrendous treatments (I honestly don't know that I would have it in me to fight, after everything with my back). I have no disillusions that cancer treatment is easy. When we lose our battle, we are still here, with just a very low quality of life. Maybe it's dark and morbid of me; but I dream of the day I can be pain free, whether it is here on earth or in heaven. It's not even that the pain is so unbearable at any given time, just the constant-ness of it, just wears me down.

My biggest fear in life? That I will never be pain free, that is what scares me more than anything else in this world. I have heard that diagnosis once and it was by far the worst moment, day, week, month, in my life. It knocked the wind out of me, took all my hope from me, took away my reason to keep going. I pray and hope, that I never hear that diagnosis again.

[Cindylou]

Well said Kathy. I have the same dream and the same fear. Another analogy I think of is death of a spouse as compared to divorce from a spouse. I studied this in graduate school. Studies were showing that the death of a loved one is actually easier on a person, than a divorce from that same person. Because divorce is the death of a marriage, and yet the person is still walking around. Then there is all the guilt that goes with a divorce. When someone dies a natural death, you can bury them and remember all the good times you had together. And it is the cycle of life. Doesn't mean you don't grieve or that it is a cake walk. Not by a long stretch. Statistics were just more favorable for burying a loved one with more of a sense of peace (ultimately) than when you divorce that person. Now, I am way

[KBear]

Very interesting CL, makes sense.

[Cindylou]

I know we all have different experiences with cancer, family, and death, so all of the responses are true and valid, in my humble opinion. Justin, (geesh, I'm picking on you lately, aren't I?!) I think it is such an individual thing, in response to your statement that "personally, I don't think death is any relief for cancer patients." For some, many perhaps, it is not. And rightly so. I know for my brother who was ravaged with lung cancer (as was my Dad), we discussed this very conversation under a blooming crab apple tree, a few days before he died. And his perspective was....he was ready to go, he had made peace with it, ..."I just need a couple more days like this with you, sis, under this old crab apple tree..."and was ready to embrace it at the end. I, on the other hand, wasn't. But isn't that the way it always is? Those left behind are heart-broken. So, many different opinions. All valid and worthwile.