L5/S1 - Twelve years after orig injury, now a REAL problem

[zarni]

So, I "lifted improperly", meaning stupidly.

This was when I was younger and indestructible. I was kneeling on a stack of hay about fifteen feet high. I reached below me and attempted to lift a bale (about sixty pounds) to set it down in the bucket of a tractor. Immediate "oh $hit". Went through the health care system of hearing "but you're so young" and "you don't need pain pills, you need to strengthen your core" and pushed myself to a point that I could basically deal with life. I cut down on my activities, and found that I was afraid of getting hurt. A LOT.

I'm 38 now, and am on the end of my third "owie episode". First time I chalked it up to putting my pants on wrong. Second time I had intense pain just come on while sitting perfectly still. This time, I knew while driving that I was beginning to have a problem. PT is helping, and I'm not going to ignore this, because I'm turning into someone I don't recognize. When I do feel okay, I walk fairly freely, and people assume I'm better. I'm scared. I know that one misstep (or not!) and I can't move. My left leg is sometimes (but not always!?) significantly weaker than normal. I work in a big building with a lot of super heavy doors. I am trying not to feel sorry for myself. :-) I mean, this morning I put my socks on. I can get in and out of my truck now without freaking out. I had to walk a little over a mile to get to my building because the handicapped spots were all full. I'm making it alright. Sort of.

What is the funniest thing is that I am the type who really researches and learns everything possible about everything that I need to know about. But this back stuff kind of makes me sick to think about. I can make it about ten minutes reading, and then I'm nauseated and overly stiff (panicky) and have to get up and walk around. Isn't that silly?

My M/F-I-L watch (too much) tv and keep telling me I've got to get some doo-dad they keeping seeing advertised because it's helping people. Um, no. Seriously. No. I'll go to real, medical, doctors. Thanks.

I had pretty much given up with the idea of getting help from doctors, because they all seemed so disappointed when I reported no pain radiating down my legs. It was only in my lower back! But with these three episodes, I've got a renewed interest in trying to improve my situation. The PA that I saw last week walked me through the images from the MRI that I'd had done last year. He explained that some people with similar pathology as mine get along fine, while some experience the same things I'm dealing with. That's different - other doctors in the past had just said that my disc didn't appear to impinge on the nerves, therefore I was okay. Guess that's a benefit to now going to doctors who specialize in spine issues.

Have been writing this post off and on for a couple hours. I just had a run in with the room's secretary, who got mad that I couldn't get the door open...I guess? I'm crying because I'm frustrated with my inability and then she's yelling at me, which, well, didn't help. Oh well. She's leaving soon, maybe she really did think I was angry with her. I'm not okay with this stupid building and it's gigantic doors - I badge in, and before I can get the doors open, they're locked again. I guess it's funny if you're not the one not able to move around at will!

Anyhow, wanted to do my intro post even though I don't have much to share until I get the results from my next MRI. I have contacts at other hospitals that I want to send the images to. Do you usually send a cd, or do you get something else to send?

Zarni
(Becky)

[Justin]

Hi Becky,

Welcome to the Spine Patient Society.

I'm sorry you have to be here, but do know that you are in good company with many Spine Patients that care. Many of the Spine Patients that frequent our Forums have been through it all. While the big, heavy doors might not be a problem for someone else, they are a real problem for you. Once your activities of daily living (dressing yourself, showering, doing the things you do to get where you are going, etc.) are affected, it's often the "turning point" for many Spine Patients to proactively work up their spine to figure out what's going on.

It is great to read that physical therapy is helping. It's truly amazing what a good formal physical therapy program can do--before and after--any surgical intervention. Most Spine Patients are decompensated and have very weak core musculature secondary to the daily pain they experience with their low backs (and necks).

Please let us know the results of your MRI. You can request an extra copy of your MRI (on CD) to be sent to your other contacts.

Once again, welcome and feel free to reach out to other SPS Members if you have any questions or just need to talk--there are many great people that are here to help!

[Katie]

Hey Beckie! Or should I say hay

I have to laugh with you as I'm sure hay had something to do with my back problems as well....I don't want to count the number of tons I have lifted over the years.....

I was one of the 'fortunate' that didn't have pain down my legs either...and no one would do anything 'just for pain'. I fought our health care system for five years then finally was able go out of country for three level surgery.

The best advice I feel I can give you is to send your newest images (no older than six months) out to as many big name surgeons all over the world as you can. Most do not charge for a consult, and even if they do, it is fairly minimal, a few hundred dollars. There are links to many in the International section on the main page, or on specific threads if you do a search. Yes, it cost me a fair bit, and we had to remortgage our farm, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I first thought it would be, or as impossible. We actually sort of came out ahead when you consider how much we saved long term by going with a much lesser interest rate overall.

The surgeons will be able to look at your MRI, CT scan & x-rays on a CD and give you a pretty good idea of what can be done.....and it is nothing like the solutions, or lack thereof, that are offered here at home...whereever that may be.

I hope this helps. Just to let you know that I found all of my life changing information here on this forum, along with incredible support that carried me through my roughest days.

[Katie]

Just wanted to edit my first post....occasionally over the years I did have sciatic pain down my left leg, but chiropractors & osteopaths were able to eliminate it pretty quickly. But when the 'big bang pain' started, there wasn't much anyone could do in the end except the surgeon.

[zarni]

Thanks Justin and Katie!

Understand the "big bang" pain - that's a superb way to explain it. Not today, I got TENS and massage this morning. I hadn't had that OMG pain since I actually injured myself in what seems like forever ago, and I'm unwilling to forget about it, even when I'm sitting/walking fairly easy. I start thinking it's in my head....until I sit too long, go to stand up, and !!!HELLLLLOOOOO!!! for three or four seconds.

Katie, I've even convinced myself that it's a good thing that I had back pain, because I was one of those who'd ride any horse, any time, and I've hindsight decided that I probably would have gotten horribly injured due to the risks I would take. Unfortunately, now, I'm too nervous to ride anything green at all, which is darned inconvenient since my good-ol' forever-horse gelding is now thirty years old and absolutely, completely, retired. Everything else seems green to me compared to him.

I bought a lovely, well broke mare this spring, enjoyed riding her for about a month, then the second pain episode occurred. I had decided that the first episode was a fluke. Amazing how the brain works. After the second episode calmed down, I've found excuses not to ride. That's so not cool. I'm at the end stages (I think!?) of this third pain episode, and I'm looking at the horses with longing, but no little amount of fear. I hate this!!!

A hard concept to accept is that there's really nobody but me that is going to advocate for my best interests. It is up to me to get smart on what the options are, and how to pay for them. This website is a truly useful and comforting resource. (Even if I do still get a little woozy when reading about spine issues!)

Becky

[KBear]

Welcome and sorry that you have to be here. None of us ever wanted to be in this place, or know as much about spines as we know! I remember starting my research and being absolutely and completely overwhelmed. I thought I would never understand the lingo and what was going on. Luckily everyone here is great and they are willing to explain anything you may not understand and there really is not a dumb question.
Kathy

[Catherine]

Welcome Becky! Everyone is right, you will find plenty of information, and lots of helpful people on this site. I completely understand how you are feeling, I haven't had the nerve to get on a horse since my injury and I do miss them. It is a scary prospect to think that we can't do the things we love, but I refuse to believe that it will be forever. Do your research. Definitely learn everything you can, knowledge is your friend here. Best of luck, will be looking for your MRI results.

Catherine

[Katie]

Hey Becky, I have three mares who have had a heck of an extended vacation over the past six years...not that they seem to mind I've almost always driven instead of ridden (left that to my daughters) but I've been slow even getting back to that. My main driving horse died just before my back went really bad, and the oldest mare has been barely started in harness, although she was my youngest daughter's eventing pony for most of her life. Now just over twenty, and still acting like a two year old at times So I'm taking it really slow in the training and getting up into my marathon carriage or x-c cart, neither of which is built for a fast escape if things went south. But it is my one main love in life, and the four wheel carriage is pretty smooth, so I'm hoping with help that I can get her going once again.

I've talked to several spine patients who have gone back to riding within a year or two of surgery....so keep up the hope, if your mare is really that much of a sweetheart...or you could always try the driving

I've had friends just not understand why keeping them is so important. But truth be told, they were the one thing that got me out of bed most mornings when I was really bad off, even if just to snuggle....

[Kimberly]

Becky,

Hi and .

A hard concept to accept is that there's really nobody but me that is going to advocate for my best interests. It is up to me to get smart on what the options are, and how to pay for them.

You are absolutely right. You are (and HAVE to be) your best advocate. Sometimes it is difficult to move yourself to the top of the list - ok, it's often hard - But I believe that for managing and overcoming spine issues, this is where you need to be. You and your health need to take precedent over a LOT of other things in life to successfully navigate this. Easier said than done, but crucial if you ask me.

Hang in there and take care of YOU.

Kimberly

[laid up doc]

get thee to a good spine pain dr... who will take a better look at your MRI in conjunction w/ your symptoms.

Correlation of MRI findings and patient symptomatology is amazingly poor. There are people walking around w/ black discs and huge osteophytes w/o significant pain. Then you have a lot of us younger folks who have an annular tear w/o a herniation - which hurt like HELLLL but can be very subtle on MRI.

If i hadn't seen a pain dr who does spine and had a more thoughtful workup than the previous docs had done... god knows what would have happened.

Good luck to you.