Percutaneous Laser Discectomy ~> question

[skidoo]

Hello everyone! I'm Chris, a 41 years-old guy from Florida. Originally I'm French and moved to the US about 10 years ago, first to Hawaii where I spent close to 6 years on Maui, then headed to south Florida.

Thanks for welcoming me to this forum.

My mother suffers from a rare condition called Cortico-Basal Degeneration, which is some sorta mix of Parkinson and Alzheimer, in other words, the worse imaginable scenario.

She's been sick for over 10 years and now is 65 and like a baby (yes, diapers and stuff). Because I'm against nursing homes, divorced and a single child, i decided to take my mother to my house about 5 years ago.

Since I work from home as a business consultant and internet developper, that definitely puts me in a situation when this was 'manageable', with the assistance of a caregiver 4 hours a day.

But still, as my mom degenerated to a point of not being able to walk, and being the only guy at home, I had to be the one moving her around from her bed to the wheelchair, and from it to the couch, not to mention spending close to 2 hours in the evening to feed her in a not so comfortable side-turned position. When I lift my mother, I always use a belt.

Now for the past 3-4 years, I've had several minor incidents where I would be 'blocked' for several days, walking like an old man with a cane, but eventually, this would go away after a week to 10 days, always being some sort of wake-up call. But still, a while later, I would forget about this incident and lack caution and injure my back again out of over-confidence.

That was until mid-august 2010. I heard a crack and that was it. A really stupid move while lifting my mom's legs after changing her diaper (i'll spare you the details... but to make a long story short, while I would've never imagined doing this in my life, you gotta do what you gotta do, after all she did the same for me when i was a baby, and really was there for me after my dad left us when i was 8, and later through my awful divorce and business bankruptcies due to 9/11/01, but that's another story...). Anyway, I knew at that moment that I might've pushed my limits a bit too far this time.

And I was right. After a few sessions with my chiropractors and 2 weeks of conservative prevention and caution, nothing changed, the pain was still there. So I did my first MRI that revealed 2 herniated discs. I was referred to a spine surgeon who performed a steroid injection, but it didn't work. Actually, it all started to get worse from that point.

I don't know what the anesthesiologist/nurse did to me, but at the last moment, she changed the location of the epidural injection, even though I had already received the anesthesiology 5 inches higher. Therefore it was awfully painful and on top of that, I suspect she somehow injured my nerve and/or spine, as the pain change its nature from that point on.

Now when I wake up, even after a short nap of only 30-45 minutes, i suffer from an extremely severe pain, that I would rate a 8 or 9 on average. The only way I can get out of bed now is with crutches. At night time, i use urinals because it's too damn painful to walk to the toilets. On average, I sleep between 3 and 5 hours per night maximum (while I used to be a heavy sleeper loving his 8 hours of sleep), and usually I wake up every 2 hours because of pain. I haven't been able to find a proper position, and tried them all (including the one with the pillow between your legs), but none works. It takes about 30-45 minutes for the pain to disappear and it does by itself, painkillers don't seem to have anything to do with that. It feels almost like some sort of ball of pain gathers in my lower back close to my tail bone / right kidney area and when i stand up, it's waken up and start diffusing. At least it fades away, but suffering from that experience every 2 hours at night doesn't allow me to have much rest overall.

At this point, after being under hydrocodone for a while, then oxycodone (for a very short time because I was allergic to it and developped hives/itchy/and water retention), now i'm under HYDRO-MORPHONE, which is a much more potent derivative of morphine, about 10 times stronger! It somehow works, but still I feel the pain when i stand up from a lying position.

I'm very scared of ending up becoming a junkie after all i read about these types of pain killers, but at least I don't have the profile for that, I don't smoke and don't drink. Heck, I don't even drink coffee nor wine, and hate champagne. I drink only diet coke. I know... weird for a half-french, half-polish guy... lol

November first, while at my local supermarket (Publix), I slipped and fell violently on my back at the grocery department. They were mop-cleaning the floor, but the employee forgot to place the mandatory 'wet-zone' advisory cones/signs. So I'm suing the supermarket, because I did a second MRI since, that demonstrated my situation got even worse now: I have 3 serious herniations now (and even a 4th mild one).

My life has become all of a sudden misery. I had to stop working because I can't remain in seating position longer than 20 minutes, and my job is, well, to be in front of a computer! So I try to work while standing, but it hurts my (unfortunately very flat) feet after a while, so it's a catch 22. Therefore I had to let go my mother's caregiver because with no revenue, I can't pay for this service anymore.

Here I am, 41, in excruciating pain most of the time, now alone to take care of my mother (I still have to lift her, but taught myself techniques not involving my lower back at all, most of the time doing stuff on my knees, actually many positions inspired by martial arts such as Aikido, you know... where you use your opponent's strength againt him lol)... Frankly at times i feel quite depressed and can't see the end of the tunnel as this insidious yet vivid pain tends to blur my sense of how to handle even the most simple things. That's also likely due to the Hydromorphone which makes me very drowsy. But long story short, just getting an appointment with a doctor seems to have become a complicated thing for me to do, because of exhaustion, while i used to be a real performer when it comes to work and life and general. I so want my life back, but now my future looks quite dark.

I cross my fingers that this journey will be soon over. At least I got some good news last week, Dr Choy from New York reviewed my MRI and estimates I would be a good candidate for his PLLD (Percutaneous Laser Disc Decompression / Discectomy). At this point i'm investigating options to do this procedure, as my situation with my mother precludes any invasive intervention that would put me in long recovery. The max I can afford would be 1 full week of a costly live-in caregiver/nurse (full-time) to take of my mother after my surgery, and then I would have to take over, as my savings account is already gone south, and I will certainly need a loan to get my PLDD done, either from my family and/or from the bank or credit cards. I'll cross my fingers and will keep you all posted.

Thanks for reading!

[KBear]

Skidoo, I definitely understand the frustration of being in pain and not being able to do what you need to do. It is extremely frustrating and depressing. I didn't have the added stress of caring for a parent and am amazed that you are still maintaining her care. I had small children to care for during my injury, so lots of lifting, but they were obviously not as heavy as an adult. Not sure if it would be possible, but is there anyway a family member could stay with your mom after surgery? Best of Luck, Kathy

[Justin]

Hi skidoo,

Welcome to the Spine Patient Society.

You certainly have a lot on your plate. My hats off to you for being a caregiver to your Mother. I have a couple questions for you:

• Have you had a formal orthopedic evaluation?
• What sparked your interest in PLLD?

[Cindylou]

skiddo/Chris, God bless you. You're a saint. I have a few more questions for you too. Sorry. Are you able to work at all now, or are you collecting unemployment? You definitely need to look into the social services that would be available to you, considering your plight. I'm also just guessing, but I would venture to guess there HAS TO BE some type of volunteer availability for in-home help with your Mom. I'm thinking churches, Lutheran Social Services, Salvation Army, synagogues, college students pursuing geriatric care degree's, who might work for a nominal fee, compared to a professional caregiver, you know? Please keep in mind, if you don't take care of yourself and restore your health, you will be in no position to lovingly support your Mom, both physically and monetarily. Although I truly admire your loyalty and devotion to your Mom, you have to get back on your own two feet to offer her the care you so richly want to give her. My heart aches for you. Even "short term" care for your mom in a nursing facility, say for 6 months, might possibly give you more options for your spine, so you aren't just putting a bandaid on a much bigger problem. Just my 2 cents. Hang in there. Glad you found us. Cindylou