Two weeks seems a long way off

[Cindylou]

Two weeks might as well be two years when I consult with the Dr. about a facet block. Then we have to set up the procedure appt....so more waiting....then after the block, which only gives very temporary relief, more of a diagnostic tool....more waiting before the Dr. hopefully will consider a rhyzotomy of the facets. I just don't know if I can hang on. I just now called their office and spoke to the nurse who said she would call in some flexeril to hopefully break up the spasms and tide me over till the appt. I have never really found flexeril to be that effective, but I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth. I'm just feeling desperate with this pain.

[KBear]

So sorry, waiting is the hardest. Hope you get some relief soon!

[Cindylou]

Thanks Kathy. I do appreciate it. You know, the waiting game just gets old. I can't even imagine if I lived in Canada!

[KBear]

Yeah, I guess the good part of waiting is that you have something to look forward to that will hopefully help. It alsways is hard when have done a new procedure/ surgery/ medication and it fails and then there is nothing to give you hope of getting better. That is when I have had the hardest time, when I had no hope of better days. Good Luck and it will be here soon enough and it won't cause your taxes to skyrocket!

[Justin]

Hang in there CL. The "hurry up and wait" is all too familiar to Spine Patients. Keep us posted.

[Cindylou]

I am getting a little bit of relief with the flexeril, thank-goodness. :thumpup: I think my facets are going to be the pain generators. Just my gut feeling. How could they not have an extra load on them from my 3 artificial lumbar discs? I know there has to be a reason for all this. Some days, okay most days, I just don't see it. I mostly think what it would be like to go for a walk and not hurt for once. Or to go shopping at a mall, and not have to constantly look for a chair to sit down in. Or to stand in the grocery line and not wish it would hurry up because I hurt so much. My biggest worry, besides thinking this may be as good as it gets, is thinking I may not be able to pick up my grandaughter in another 6 months. Thanks for letting me unload.

[KBear]

CL- I'm there with you. I am feeling like I may never see a pain free day again. It's so hard to try to stay positive and keep moving forward, when everyday is full of pain. My 'joke' about waking up without feeling pain and thinking I was dead, is oh so true. I wish, for just a day, I could be pain free and live my life. I hate being in pain, it sucks. I'm depressed and ready to be done. Then to top it off, I've got kids whining all day, needing me to do this or that. I've had several days this week, where I have literally prayed and begged God to just take me.

I haven't been to church in weeks, the last time I went, I left in tears, as the pain from sitting was just too much for me to bear. I'm going to try and go tomorrow and I think we are going to get back into our small group Bible study on Tuesday nights. I'm hoping this well help lift my spirits (and if I'm committed, I will make myself do it, even if I don't feel like it, and that will probably be good for my antisocialness as of recently)

[Katie]

Oh Kathy, ((((( hugs ))))) to you. Somehow I missed that you are still in so much pain.

If your church is anything like ours, the people there will lift your spirits like no others. The older ladies are especially kind to me, as so many have gone through their own trials by this stage of their lives. Breast cancer, strokes, everything you can imagine, yet they still take the time to make me feel better and let me know they care. All this, and I barely go myself either. And yes, for the same reason as you. It just hurts too darn much.

CL, unload away. Start four more threads if you have to, but just get it out

I hope tomorrow is a better day for everyone. You too Justin.

[Justin]

This is what truly gets my blood boiling -- people suffering day-in and day-out with chronic, debilitating spine disorders. I'm so sorry that you are still struggling CL. At the very least, you have use to unload on and we know what you are going through.

The hardest part of all of this (in my opinion) is finding people that truly understand how you feel living as a Spine Patient. This is why connecting with patients on Forums such as these is vital--to realize you are not alone and that others "get it" is invaluable and extremely powerful.

Thanks Katie...we are in this together everyone!

[Cindylou]

Thanks everyone. I would be lost without this site for, oh, so many reasons. And yes, my down days can decidedly drown me, but then I can come on here and either unload and/or help someone else, which is empowering in and of itself. Do I hope and pray this is not "as good as it gets" for my pain levels? You can bet your bottom dollar on that. It doesn't seem like much to ask, does it? But our ways are not always HIS ways. And so the beat goes on........