Update: I'm still alive, been a crazy story though

[Greg]

I'm sorry I havent had a chance to update you all lately about my wonderful times of this fantastic and incredibly fun situation I am in. It has been crazy and hectic and everytime I get a chance to log on, get up to speed with how everyone else is doing, I end up following a link in an article and next thing I know its 11:30 and my g/f is wondering what happened to me for the last 3 hours.

There is so much to tell so I decided to start a new thread on my roller coaster ride

Forewarning: I am sorry for the novel (and I'm not joking) I am about to write. Lots of stuff to tell and it feels so much better to be able to share it with people who care and most of all dont judge me. BTW....I spent 45 minutes typing this post only to start spell checking when I was done, hit the backspace button one too many times and the screen backs up a page and EVERYTHING IS GONE ...Justin, it'd be really awesome if some kind of feature was added that automatically saved unposted threads/replies until they were posted....just a thought.

In case any new readers are not familiar with my situation here's the super shortened story: took a few extra meds, that violated pain contract, kicked out with no meds, no dr's want to help and I am in trying to get into a new clinic now. Now that we are all up to speed....where to begin:

It has been like pulling teeth to get the "evil dr" to send my referral to this new pain management clinic. I say she is evil because it seems she has and will do anything and everything to not give me pain relief or send me somewhere that will. I have called her almost everyday to find out whats up to hear that they are still "preparing documents" I think she's writing some nice lengthy letter for the new PM dr about how she thinks I shouldn't consider pain meds for treatment...just my opinion. In the meantime it's been pretty rough considering the oh so suddle stopping of pain meds but I have been trying to hang in there and venting to you all has definitely helped BTW...every paragraph I type now I am highlighting all the text and COPYING

So on Saturday I wasnt feeling too well; I think I was catching the cold my g/f had. Probably the WORST thing for my back and creates the most pain is laying down (big problem if I get sick). I didnt feel too well so I took some Nyquill and went to bed at 630 pm....BIG MISTAKE. Spent most all day Sunday laying down to make the sickness go away but the more I tried to alleviate the sickness, the more pain I brought on to my back. I probably got 30 minutes of sleep Sunday night and all I could think about was going to the ER to get a shot and make it all go away. I tried everything from laying in every position, piece of furniture, all my stretchs, ice, heat, the list goes on. As embarassing as it is to say, I didnt want to live anymore (dont worry....it was just the pain getting the worst of me and I wouldnt dare do something like that) Needless to say it was worse than hell. I have only hurt that bad for that long 2 other times in my life.....you guessed it, I WAS SICK AND LAYING DOWN

I still had to go to work Monday morning and it was real hard motivate my pitiful self to get there. After being at work for 20 minutes I finally made the decision to go to the ER and get some help. I finally got in the back and THANK GOD the Dr who saw me has known me and my famliy for 15 years and was understanding/sympathetic of my situation. He wouldnt give me a shot because I drove myself there but he did give me a weeklong script of percocets to help me out while I wait for my dr to send my referral over to the center for pain management. This doctor has just given me the breath of relief. HE IS A GODSEND

...I said this was gonna be a novel but if your to this point, THANK YOU, your desire to listen and care means a GREAT DEAL to me

Needless to say, I have probably cut my medication consumption to 30% of normal to "make them last." I dont get to kill my pain now but slightly taking the edge off feels so much better than being miserable. And with "dr evil" controlling my move to the new clinic, these pills might need to last for a couple weeks

I'm almost finished here....one more big detail and I promise I'll wrap it up I received a phone call from the insurance company on Thursday about my denial for surgery. This was expected because I wanted to get the denial (approval would've been earth shattering though) for ADR so I could do what I do best; fight to the death and send back the most well played appeal BCBS has ever seen. The strange thing was they said they denied me for spinal fusion We werent trying for that, it was supposed to be ADR. I played along though to find out why. She said there were no supporting documents that showed instability of my spine. Well of course there werent any because thats not my problem! Me being very confused, I called the surgeons nurse to find out what the hell is going on.

I got a voicemail back stating, "I'm not too sure what you were asking but I think you were calling about the status of your authorization. BCBS has denied your surgery but dont worry, the dr is going to do a phone appeal with the insurance's doctor to try and get this appealed." She said that it was set up to happen within a couple hours. DONT WORRY!!!!!! How am I supposed to not worry when they got this whole thing screwed up? I tried to call back before the dr appeal to straighten things out. I figured if they denied a fusion, maybe the phone appeal could prove the fusion was for the proper condition and go ahead and have an approval in case I decide to fuse insteas of replace the discs. Keep in mind, I hit my insurance out of pocket cap $7000 ago. If I do an approved surgery tomorrow, it wont cost me a penny! Of course when I called back I got the voicemail and they didnt listen to it in time. I finally talked to the nurse and explained whats up. In order to rectify the screw up they made, she is going to submit a pre-authorization for fusion for the proper condition for a surgery date of next week to try and have that card in the bag.

I have spent A LOT OF TIME researching fusion procedures and risks and it doesnt seem like it would be too bad for me. I wanted ADR because I'm only 23 years old and was worried of problems with fusion complications since I plan to live forever I am to the point now that I just want something to happen and I dont think I can wait as long as it may take for a 2 level ADR trial to pop up or a miraculous approval to swing my way. I have pretty much made up my mind for fusion and might be getting a surgery date pretty soon. I have to talk to the surgeon to find out exactly what method/approach he would want to do but I will be sure to keep you all posted when I find out.

And I PROMISE I wont wait 10 days to do it and have to write a 14 page novel about it because it has been so long. If you have made it to the end of my "story" I cannot thank you enough to take the time out of your day to read about the troubles of mine. I wouldnt be able to cope with all of this the way I have if it wasnt for all you wonderful people giving me the reinforcement i need....SO THANK YOU!

BTW...it has been 3 days since the referral went to the new clinic and no phone call and they havent returned my phone calls. It's got my kind of worried that they wont even give me the chance to explain my situation and just deny my an appointment. I'm trying to keep my head up though

Phew....with having to type all this TWICE, it only took an hour and a half. If you have a long reply/thread to post, I recommend many "preview post" clicks so it doesnt all disappear with an accidental backspace Thats right, the finale is finally here

[Katie]

Greg, it really wasn't that long, honest I bet I've had at least one this long, if not longer. (I was going to say worse, but that wouldn't be nice now, would it !)

You have gone through the initiation of the darned Darned frustrated that is. Welcome to doctors' offices who never get anything right, who sometimes make things worse, and when they say "don't worry", that's when you know you're really in trouble LOL!

You've given us a great post, with a good appreciation of all you've gone through so far. I'm very impressed with your 'stick-to-it' attitude and sense of humour. It will help get you far in this journey. Trust me, I've been at a few crossroads myself

As for your momentary wish to want to end it all, you're in good company. I'm not sure any of us can deny being there at one time or another. If there is, I've more than made up for it several times myself.

And just a hint about saving your posts....I've lost a few even with doing a 'Preview Post', so now just don't touch anything until I finish typing the main body and push Ctrl C. Then if there are any mistakes, I fix them after I know it is really safe

Hang in there and continue with the novel. I'm really enjoying it! Got an official title yet?

[Justin]

Hi Greg,

I'm sorry about hitting the backspace key and losing your text. BTW, I replied to your post in the Site Suggestions Forum.

Well, I have to say that I hate to see young patients with spine problems. It's not how life should be. I have to say that you sound very upbeat despite the roadblocks in your way. In terms of the referral to a new pain management doctor, see if you can get in touch with the Clinic Manager. This should help. It's great to hear that you are over your cold and that you are feeling better--what you went through sounds like no fun at all.

It is great to read about your extensive research about fusion. Becoming a well-informed Spine Patient is one of the "goals" that we have for the Members and Visitors that frequent our Forum.

We are here to merely guide the conversation and support Spine Patients regardless of device, surgeon or proposed intervention.

[KBear]

Greg, I would also suggest getting a copy of your records from the old clinic for yourself. This way if they are putting something in there, you will know. You can then either remove that page before giving it to the new doctor or will at least know what to tell the new doctor regarding any negative comments.

I have also been there on wanting to end it all, pain is a hard thing to deal with. We all have our good and bad days. Know that we are here for you and let us know what's going on so we can support you, no one is going to judge you. If nothing else, your honesty may help a spine patient who is to embarassed to admit feeling that way. I have definitely had my fair share of down in the dumps posts. The people here have supported me, cheered me up and helped me 'see' clearly.

Your post was long (I've had several of my own), but well written and interesting (which kept me reading to the end). That's what we are here for, to support you!

Good job on all the research, that is the best thing a spine patient can do. Before my surgery, I wanted to know the good, bad and ugly of all my options. Then I could make an educated decision on what to do. I wanted to know that I made the best decision I could with knowledge I had and have no regrets, regardless of my surgical outcome.

Best of luck on getting into the new clinic, getting pain relief, and finding sptions that are right for you.
Kathy

[Greg]

Hi Greg,
Well, I have to say that I hate to see young patients with spine problems. It's not how life should be. I have to say that you sound very upbeat despite the roadblocks in your way. In terms of the referral to a new pain management doctor, see if you can get in touch with the Clinic Manager. This should help. It's great to hear that you are over your cold and that you are feeling better--what you went through sounds like no fun at all.

Justin,

Thank you for that advice. That will be top priority for Monday morning, unless I happen to get the lady on the phone first.

Greg, it really wasn't that long, honest I bet I've had at least one this long, if not longer. (I was going to say worse, but that wouldn't be nice now, would it !)

You have gone through the initiation of the darned Darned frustrated that is. Welcome to doctors' offices who never get anything right, who sometimes make things worse, and when they say "don't worry", that's when you know you're really in trouble LOL!

You've given us a great post, with a good appreciation of all you've gone through so far. I'm very impressed with your 'stick-to-it' attitude and sense of humour. It will help get you far in this journey. Trust me, I've been at a few crossroads myself Hang in there and continue with the novel. I'm really enjoying it! Got an official title yet?

Katie,

Thank you for your kind words. It felt so weird not posting and replying for the last week or so. In such a short time I have grown so attached (or dare I say...addicted) to this site. I couldnt believe the amount of anticipation I had built up waiting for someone to reply. I got so excited when my phone beeped for a new email. I knew immediately that one of my back buddies had replied and was there to care. No official title for the novel yet but I do think when this is all said and done...could be a while, I will have to write some kind of story about my journey. It sure has been one hell of a ride so far with so many climatic twists and turns with a couple curveballs from far left field Could be an interesting piece of work. Definitely not the "normal" situations. Glad to be back in the posting saddle and hearing from you all again. It really lifts my mood.

One thing though, since my quest for ultimate knowledge on spinal fusion has begun, it seems that only the negative results get posted on the web. Probably cause all the success' from fusion are too busy doing stuff that a healthy bodied person could do. I know it cant be that all fusions go bad but would love to hear some success stories to ease my worries.

BTW...I dont remember who suggested the TENS unit but I got one now and I tell you, the results have been "quite a shock" Great advice, not the ultimate cure but I need as much stuff in my bag of tricks as possible.

[KBear]

Thank you for your kind words. It felt so weird not posting and replying for the last week or so. In such a short time I have grown so attached (or dare I say...addicted) to this site. I couldnt believe the amount of anticipation I had built up waiting for someone to reply. I got so excited when my phone beeped for a new email. I knew immediately that one of my back buddies had replied and was there to care.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who is thrilled to get a new reply or excited to check new posts!

QUOTE=Greg;7104]One thing though, since my quest for ultimate knowledge on spinal fusion has begun, it seems that only the negative results get posted on the web. Probably cause all the success' from fusion are too busy doing stuff that a healthy bodied person could do. I know it cant be that all fusions go bad but would love to hear some success stories to ease my worries. [[/QUOTE]

You are exactly right, they are out living. I had this same question about ADR patients prior to surgery and was told the exact same thing. I can attest to it being true, as I have seen people come on here, be on here all the time, have surgery, get better and you never hear from them again.

QUOTE=Greg;7104] BTW...I dont remember who suggested the TENS unit but I got one now and I tell you, the results have been "quite a shock" Great advice, not the ultimate cure but I need as much stuff in my bag of tricks as possible.[/QUOTE]

So glad it is working for you. They do provide some relief and anything is better than nothing.

[Greg]

Greg, I would also suggest getting a copy of your records from the old clinic for yourself. This way if they are putting something in there, you will know. You can then either remove that page before giving it to the new doctor or will at least know what to tell the new doctor regarding any negative comments.

Thats a good point. I have a gigantic folder of almost all my medical records in there except for the stuff from the last PM doctor. Has came in quite handy considering all the doctors I have been to. I went through a stack from my childhood and never realized how many times I went to see my doctor for skateboarding falls. And I do hope my post regarding the dissappearance of the will to live will give someone else the courage to talk about it. I know I could never do something like that, my family would kill me

So glad I've got the time to be back in touch with you all. You guys have made more of a difference than I'll ever be able to express.

[KBear]

You guys have made more of a difference than I'll ever be able to express.

I think we can all say that 'we know' how important this forum and the people on it are, as we feel the same way about it.... at least I do.

[ajj1001]

good to hear what has been going on, you have been in my thoughts. Whatever op you have the most important thing is a good long term result (says someone whose ADR didn't "last" that long!). Hope you hear from the new clinic soon and keep in touch.

[Greg]

good to hear what has been going on, you have been in my thoughts. Whatever op you have the most important thing is a good long term result (says someone whose ADR didn't "last" that long!). Hope you hear from the new clinic soon and keep in touch.

Thanks! Will do. Has anyone experienced or read about pain from a TENS unit? I dont know if maybe I had it cranked a little too high or on for too long for the first couple days. I had the pads on my sacroilliic joints yesterday and the muscles on my buttocks were sore yesterday and I had some muscle cramping/soreness in my right leg, thigh down through calf to foot. I have the same thing going on today but a lot more extreme. Is it possible to damage muscles or nerves from a TENS Im hoping maybe I just over did it for the first couple days and made my muscles a little.