Here I go again - New Surgery Date is Dec. 1st

[Jan P]

I just got word that my insurance company BC of Calif. did approve my spinal fusion after all. The soonest I could have it done due to the Thanksgiving Holiday is Dec. 1st. So once again the count-down continues.

I know I need to focus on the fact that I AM HAVING THIS SURGERY and not on the fact that if it wasn't for a very preventable series of errors on someones part I would be 2 days post surgery as I write this.

Having my surgery cancelled (or postponed) two days prior to my date sent me into a hugh melt-down. Is this normal or am I just extra sensitive or depressed???? I am sure there others out there that have experienced this major disappointment.

Just having to wait another 12 days just seems like a lifetime away. The rational side of me says, I've waited this long, what's another week or two. So, I will not dwell on the negative anymore. I know I need to stay positive.

I guess it won't really be real until I wake up and see my husband by my side and know that this long road we have been on to find a fix for my constant pain had come to an end. And better yet, after my recovery we will be able to begin a new journey.

Thanks for listening to me rattle on.

Jan P

[Justin]

I just got word that my insurance company BC of Calif. did approve my spinal fusion after all. The soonest I could have it done due to the Thanksgiving Holiday is Dec. 1st. So once again the count-down continues.

Yeah, great news!

I know I need to focus on the fact that I AM HAVING THIS SURGERY and not on the fact that if it wasn't for a very preventable series of errors on someones part I would be 2 days post surgery as I write this.

Having my surgery cancelled (or postponed) two days prior to my date sent me into a hugh melt-down. Is this normal or am I just extra sensitive or depressed???? I am sure there others out there that have experienced this major disappointment.

This is definitely normal, especially after being in chronic pain for so long. You're putting all of your eggs in the fusion basket and you just want to have the operation & move on with your life--hopefully, a life with less pain and increased function.

Just having to wait another 12 days just seems like a lifetime away. The rational side of me says, I've waited this long, what's another week or two. So, I will not dwell on the negative anymore. I know I need to stay positive.

Your operation will be here quicker then you know it. Use the extra days to run errands, plan for the Holidays, maybe doing odds and ends around the house that you won't be able to do after surgery, etc.

Hang in there!

[KBear]

I think you handled it really well, probably would have sent me into emotional breakdown mode. All we do as spine patients is wait, wait for the next appointment, the next procedure, the next therapy, and on and on..... get tired of waiting and just ready to be done with it. The waiting in healing was bad for me, because I just knew I was going to bounce back quickly after surgery and that's just not how it worked for me. I always tell my kids patience is a virtue, not one of mine, but it is one- LOL Best of Luck, hope the extra time allows you a nice Thanksgiving.

[Cindylou]

Jan, congratulations! At least it's approved and around the corner. And no, you are very normal. A couple years ago I was sent home minutes before my operation! Dressed in my gown, IV in my arm, and apparently there was some confusion about a medication I took that the nurses forgot to tell me not to take! I went into major meltdown! Bawled all the way home. Fortunately for me, the surgeon rearranged his schedule so I only had to wait until the next day for surgery, but like you, it was all I could do to get through the day. My husband finally drove me over to our grown kids' house to see our granddaughter. It was the only tonic that settled me down. The power of babies. 12 days will be here before you know it. I hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving, meanwhile. Hang in there, Cindylou

[Jan P]

Justin, Thank you for your kind words and you are sooooooo right. I guess I and others do put the hope of a normal life by "putting all your eggs in the fusion basket". I hear such great stories here on the forum of being "pain free, med free" that I want that so very badly for myself. Thanks for being here and your support.

KBear, When you speak of waiting for the next appt, next procedure, etc, etc. - it speaks volumes for what we go through. My husband and I have very often complained of that over that last year and a half - all we do is wait. Before you know it a month or two or more have passed and you are still no better off.

I am concerned about the wanting to heal quickly and get back to living, but I am determined to go slow and keep (I hope) a positive attitude, that in time I will be pain free. Thanks for understanding.

CindyLou, Wow, I can't imagine how you must have felt being sent home from the hospital. I started crying just reading your post. I just can't put into words how horrible that must have been for you and your husband. I guess devastating is the best word that comes to mind. Thank goodness your surgery was able to take place so quickly, but it still could not make up for the stress that you had to go through that day.

How wonderful that you could see your granddaughter. Grandkids can definetely make you forget about your problems. Unfortunately, all of ours (4) are in Northern California. Had we known that there was going to be a delay or change in my surgery date we could have had time to go there for Thanksgiving. It is a two day drive each way in the Motorhome. However, the reality of it is, my mind says I can do this or that, but even a short outing with my husband to go to a store or Costco or out for lunch is enough to put me down for the next few days.

TO ALL OF YOU, Thank you so very much for your responses, understanding and kindness. It means so much to me and I am sure others, to know that you can write what is on your mind, your true feelings and emotions - and be understood. Having found this forum has been the best medicine I could get. To have others who will listen, give input, suggestions, sharing experiences, validate your feelings and display plain old fashion empathy is truly wonderful.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and wishes of a life that is full of joy - and no pain!
Jan