Chronic Pain & Depression

[Cindylou]

Vanessa, welcome to the forum. I'm a little late to the party welcoming you....was out of town all weekend. I hope you have felt some encouragement from SPS folks already. It's a great bunch of people who have been, or still are, where you are walking. Chronic pain and depression go hand in hand. The bigger question is: how could you NOT be depressed coping with chronic pain, day after day, hour after hour? The two go hand in hand. Chronic pain ravages self-confidence and plays like the devil. The good news is you have come to recognize that and are taking pro-active measures to combat it. Cymbalta did not agree with me either. Prozac has been my God-send for unrelenting depression. It's just been the best anti-depressant for me. I hope you find one that works for you, because there is no reason not to be able to get that, at the very least, under control. I hope your load is lightened soon, and welcome again. Cindylou

[Vanessa]

Hi CindyLou!

Nice to "meet" you Yes, I am definatley feeling at "home" here. I have had such an awesome time with people already reaching out to me to talk and see how I am doing. This is such a big change for me and I am finally at peace with being able to tell people about my pain...because they can relate! It's very encouraging to hear about how some of these surgeries have helped so many people. I am definatley looking into so many different options that I didn't know I had before

Right now I am taking Citalopram 10mg. I'm taking a pediatric dose until next week because I had such a adverse side effect with the Cymbalta. I was really hoping it would have worked out because it also helped with neuropathy, but that just wasn't the case. I have tried Prozac before, but they had to keep increasing the dose every few months. I got to the max mg and they said no more. I'm not feeling much of a change at this point, but I'm on such a low dose and have only been on it 2 weeks...I'm hoping once they increase things, I will feel a little better. I'm trying to get back on the road to recovery. Hoping to get there soon!

Thank you!

[klh]

Vanessa,

I, and I think most everyone on the board, can surely relate and empathize with you. I sure can. I have had chronic pain for 13 years with a bad L5-S1 herniated disc. In 2003, I had a outpatient, non-invasive procedure to decompress my disc because of all the nerve pain/sciatica in both my legs. The procedure was easy, the recovery was hell. Afterward, I fell into a deep depression, eventually went onto Zoloft which helped a bit, but it was still very tough on me, and all my friends and family.

But what I learned was this: that even at the worst moments, I got really angry and asked myself, have I done everything possible to get better, find any treatment that works, and not feel so much like a victim. I tried literally everything I could think of. And though nothing else helped, over time my sciatica got better slowly, and now it is completely gone. As I read so many stories, the one thing I have seen, and which is often the hardest, is patience.

You had a surgery only a few month ago. Who says it is a failure? Most back procedures, minimal or evasive, take about a year to truly heal. The body takes a real hit after surgery. It's like stirring up a hornets nest in there. Nerves have to heal, the disc needs time to settle down, and it takes time. Depression I think naturally comes with chronic pain, anger at not being able to do what you want or need to, and what your doing is very good to start.

I found talking is very good, either with a therapist who specializes in chronic pain, and/or a chronic pain support group. Search in your area for a chronic pain support group through Google or meetup.com, talk with others, continue with any medication which helps you, and most of all, give it more time to heal. If at the one year mark it is still bad enough, then seek other options. I have seen a number of posts from people who have had a discectomy who are doing well. Go easy on your back, and yourself, and give it some more time to heal. It was a very hard lesson for me, but one I don't regret.

Best,
Ken

[Moni]

Hi Vanessa,
Chronic pain definitely sucks and yes, imho causes depression...for more than just the obvious reasons.
An avenue that my Primary and I are looking into right now is a slightly different one that has me all hopeful. Chronic pain can also cause adrenal fatigue. Google that and you will come up with all sorts of interesting reads. I actually came on here to see if anyone else had looked into this connection when I stumbled across your post.
For me the pain has been ongoing for over four years now and while L5/S1 is autofusing and L3 is basically leaving, I am managing the pain by BEING a good girl and not doing anything to aggravate the tender weak areas...It's been tough. I am using codeine and gaba to maintain but pain is my constant companion.
I am also hypothyroid, RAI treated Hashi's....and on a visit regarding this my dr and I kinda fell onto the adrenal insufficiency hypothesis...fight or flight type of a scenario...well chronic pain sure fits that bill doesn't it? I can't fight it and I can't run from it either....results: depression ...fatigue...mucle pains...sensitive nerves...suppressed immune system....joint pain ..fog brain...etc etc etc ...none of which will respond to anti -depressants ( previous dr had me on those for 3 years...NO relief whatsoever)
Last week I went for a set of xrays to track my autofuse and L3 degeneration progression since June 2010 ,at the same time I had mega bloodworkup for adrenals....might be something you want to look in to as well.
All the best
mg

[rgutshall]

I never ever understood the relevance between chronic pain and depression, until I became an unwilling participant to chronic pain. For the past 6 months I have had non-stop nerve pain in my leg. I have been through all sorts of medication ranging from Neurontin to Morphine. After having back surger in September, I felt relief for about 3 weeks. Those were the BEST weeks I have had in such a long time. Then at week 4, I started having calf and ankle pain again. Needless to say, I have been very depressed after having a partial failed back surgery. I have now been on a few different anti-depressants to help stabalize my mind. I used to have soo much motivation to get up and clean the house, play with my kids and doll myself up. Now, I dread doing any type of work in my house, I don't have the energy to play with my kids and getting dolled up is a joke. I feel like my life is falling apart and honestly, my husband really just does NOT understand what this is like. I feel like I am a prisioner to this pain and a prisoner in my own mind. Can someone please relate and tell me I am NOT crazy!!

You are definitely not crazy. My last marriage failed partially because my ex husband refused to even TRY to understand what I was going through. His favorite line, EVERY SINGLE DAY, was "Mind over matter". He honestly believed that I could mindfully talk myself out of being in excruciating pain. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

I also used to get up and get dolled up, every day. Now I'm lucky if my pajama pants match my tshirt.

My husband now is the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me. He has had ADR in his neck and so he understands to a point what I'm feeling. And the stuff he doesn't understand? He always asks questions and lets me talk about it. He tries very hard. This has caused such a strain on our lives, but I truly believe we will come out on top. If your husband is willing, have him sit down with you and try to explain to him how you feel. I always find something that has happened to my husband regarding pain to compare to my own pain. It seems to work. Keeping an open conversation flow between you two and not allowing any resentment to be born is the best way to ensure the both of you are always on the same page.

I started medication for depression too. I am having issues with it and I'm feeling as though I'm drowning. I also have been seeing a therapist to try to work through all the anger, pain, and frustration. She has been extremely helpful. Never forget, there is always going to be someone that understands your issues. Especially in a place like this. You are surrounded by friends here.

[raising4daughters]

Vanessa, you are definitely not alone. It must be very tough, however, having pulled the trigger to have surgery and still be having pain. I know so little about spinal surgeries that I can't comment about your next steps, but I wouldn't give up.

I've had minor lower back pain since 2005, but it became chronic this past May. I'm doing the conventional non-invasive stuff to try to avoid surgery but seem to be getting worse. Although my pain CAN occasionally spike to a 7-8 level, it's often just in the 1-3 level, so I am somewhat grateful relative to what I've read here about others. But, I've been reduced to a sedentary lifestyle in order to manage my pain and that's led to my own depression (and some weight gain).

This is my 2nd bout with chronic pain. In 2005-06, I developed severe, 10-level post-vasectomy pain and went through 8 months of hell. Just one of the unfortunate 1-2% of men whose body doesn't get rid of the sperm naturally after vasectomy and, instead, starts an autoimmune attack on it. I had all kinds of failed treatments but eventually had a 3-1/2 hour reversal surgery that corrected the problem. Recovery was hell - it last 6 months.

I've read that depression is common from general anethesia a year or more after surgery. In fact, I still remain somewhat depressed from that episode in my life, and I ended up PAIN-FREE from the surgery. I feel like I'm suffering some form of PTSD. And that's without anything to do with the new problem in my back.

I know this isn't the cheeriest of notes, but just wanted to let you know that many of us are dealing with the same demons.

I guess I just wanted to let you know that your response seems completely normal and manageable.

Scott