Feeling Overwhelmed

[Nairek]

Perhaps it's the full moon. Maybe it's just a chemical imbalance who knows. But I'm just feeling so overwhelmed right now. I should be packing up the house in anticipation of my move in a few weeks & I just can't get motivated to do it.

I know I'm stressed out. I've had a slight migraine headache for 3 days now. (I'm just happy that I haven't been sick from this one).

I should be excited about moving & basically starting over but I just can't seem to get into it. I'm happy yet sad over the whole thing. I wanted to move to Florida in the past. I had hoped to do it in the future. I just wasn't ready to go down there just yet. But I know that we just can't take a chance of staying where we are with my husband's job being so uncertain. There was another round of layoffs last week. He was lucky again this round but who knows for next time.

Perhaps I'm just sad that this was our first home together. This is where he proposed to me, where we spent countless hours rehabbing this house to make it our own, where the 1st few years I had my family here for the holidays. I'm sad that I have to leave my paralegal job working for a firm that I had always hoped to work for. (The pay is low, but the experience is priceless).

Perhaps I'm just angry that his company finds that their dedicated employees are expendable & when they cost too much, out the door they go. My mom use to work for the same company. She was laid off back in the 90's. I guess some things never change.

I know that we can't chance staying here. If we do & he does get laid off, we'll end up losing our house. Good paying jobs are scarce & he's not the type to commute to NYC. I know I can't do a commute anymore. Especially in the snow & ice.

I'm happy that I'm moving to a warmer climate. That I have a larger house with a garage & a significantly cheaper mortgage. And although I am leaving family behind here, I do have family not far from where we are moving to.

OK, enough of my whining. I just had to vent. If you're still reading this, you deserve a medal

Have a good night. I'm off to hug my dog & scratch her ears.

[Justin]

Hi Karin,

I think the emotions you are experiencing are completely normal. Moving is stressful and exhausting. Moving away from family and things that are familiar, from all the memories in your first house, etc. can be hard. My wife and I did something similar with our first house--we gutted and renovated the entire house...new granite & stainless steel appliances in the kitchen, new deck, 800 sq.ft. detached garage, wood floors, windows, etc. etc. all up to historic district standards. Then, I got into medical school and we had to move. It was tough to move from our completely renovated house, family and from a city that was "home."

BTW, you are not whining--you have so much going on emotionally. Thanks for sharing what's going on and I hope we can support you during your move.

Stay in touch!

[KBear]

It's hard to move away from your first home, or any home for that matter. Add to that, all the blood, sweat and tears you have put in it, it's downright depressing. My best memories are of the times hubby and I laid tile, painted, built a deck, etc. Our first house was new construction, yet we still did a lot of extras to it and it was hard leaving the place where we put in all the work, brought home 2 babies, 1 dog and 2 cats. We just moved a block and a half (we loved our neighborhood, just wanted more space) and it is still sad. We have been in our current house for 2 years and have made many new memories. I literally painted the entire house (every wall in every room, all 3,000sq ft) by myself, while hubby did other work. We changed out every light fixture, put down hardwood, hubby 'gutted' the yard (which was more weeds than grass), and other updating (it was only 4 years old, but had the brass fixtures, off white walls, and all the styles of that building period.) It was a ton of work and took months, and is still not done (we currently have hardiboard on the floors upstairs in the gameroom, hall and 2 baths upstairs; just waiting for tile. The stairs are stripped waiting for the wood/tile we are putting down. Then, when that is done, we are going to rip out all the tile down stairs and put down 16x16 tile. I say all that, to say that we have made lots of new memories here, put in lots of work and had lots of fun (I love power tools, even bought myself my own).

It is alot of work packing and moving, which can be completely overwhelming, so take it a box at a time. Keep your eye on the prize, sunny Florida. It will be over before you know it and you will be so happy you moved.

[Cindylou]

Karin, Justin and Kathy are so right. Moving is right up there at the top of the highest stress factors list, along with death/divorce of a spouse, changing careers (or moving to new one like your hubby!) etc., etc. It's just a big ole' ball of stress. Period. I am sick over our impending move too, as my best friend is right across the street, and moving will change that dynamic, no doubt about it. I know God will take care of me, but it's still a vulnerable time.

Things will begin to come together soon for you. They will.

[Nairek]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. You would think that I would be use to moving since in the past I have moved more times than a military kid. I think a lot of the sadness has to do with it being our first house together as a married couple.

It's true that we can always make new memories elsewhere. I worry about leaving family behind, yet when I need them, some of them aren't there for me. I learned long ago that I can't depend on anyone but myself. Sometimes I forget that though. I always worry about others instead of worrying about myself.

I'm also really nervous about moving so soon after my surgery. I'm still having some issues. I still can't understand why my abdomen hurts when I bump it or lean against something 4 1/2 months after surgery. I still get that weird sharp stabbing pain but not as frequently in my lower back since the surgery as well. It's really bad when I get a wave of chills. It could be 70 degrees in the house, & I get the chills & it's like yeouch!

And now, the thing that bothers me the most, I feel just how screwed up my C-spine is. I can feel the pain more now then I did before. Especially when I'm driving. And who knows if I can find a doc on FL who will take NY Worker's Comp?!? If I needed surgery, I don't think I would want anyone other than Dr. Bitan to do it either and he doesn't work with WC. And Lord knows how much longer I'll have medical benefits. Am I driving you guys crazy yet? (Justin, these emoticons are a scream!)

Maybe when hubby wakes up, I'll have him set up my synthesizer. I haven't played it in years. I use to play, very badly I might add, years ago. Maybe I can get some aggression out on that. Hopefully it still works.

[KBear]

Karin, You have alot on your plate right now and it can be totally overwhelming. I completely understand family not being there for you. You get hurt, they are willing to help for a little while; but then you don't get better and they disappear. It is also something they can't 'see', and they may see you at times feeling good and assume you are better (not knowing it's just the drugs talking). Just know, you will make new friends and some will become like family (and we aren't going anywhere).

There are lots of great surgeons/dr's in Florida and I'm sure you will find a great one. Also, if you need surgery in the future, you could always go back the NY and have surgery. Will you have private insurance, so if you need to use it instead of the workers comp, you can?

Best of Luck, before long this will just be a memory and you will be so glad you moved,
Kathy

[Cindylou]

I was thinking along the lines of Kathy, Karin. Could you go back to NY, if necessary, and have any surgery there? One thing my Mom used to say was "don't borrow trouble." (and I'm sure someone coined it before her) In a nutshell, don't go there if it hasn't happened yet. Makes total sense. When I start to really stress over something, I remind myself: in 5 years, will I even remember this? Problems come. Problems go. Hang in there!

[Nairek]

My husband always tells me that I can't stress over things that I have no control over. Indeed that is true. I was ticked off at family members when I was in the hospital for 6 days because my husband was the only 1 who came to see me every day. My sister & brother-in-law came down twice which was OK because they were there when my husband needed someone the most. They also work F/T. Neither of my parents, 1 of which doesn't work & the other who lives out of state, nor my brother ever came to visit which hurt. Even after knowing that I was having heart issues. Oh well. Live & learn I guess.

I could probably go back to NY to have surgery if I had out-of-network benefits. Those benefits aren't cheap though. And if hubby loses his job, I would have to see what COBRA will offer.

I'm just bugging out about the C-Spine since we are driving our cars to FL. I'll have the fur/feather babies in the back of my SUV & hubby will be following behind me in his car. I sometimes get severe pain & dizziness when looking over my shoulder during lane changes. Thank goodness the feelings of passing out while driving have eased up. There was a time where it was happening to me a lot We'll be stopping at my in-laws overnight in VA so at least we'll have some type of a break.

Kathy, the "you will make new friends and some will become like family (and we aren't going anywhere)". really means a lot to me. Thank you!

[Cindylou]

Karin,

Do you know when you will be taking off for Florida? Are you guys packing everything yourselves, or hiring some helpers? Hope your house sells fast! :thumpup: