I am done!!!

[Mary.Mary]

I HAVE TO SAY THAT I AM DONE!!

I can't friggen do this anymore!! I am sick of it ALL!! I am sick of the fact that I have a 14mth old daughter who is sick and feeling crappy and all she wants is her mommy to hold her and I CAN'T!! It takes EVERYTHING out of me just to keep her bathed, fed etc etc etc.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I really am at my wits end!! FRUSTRATION IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT!!!

MARY

[Katie]

Mary, do you want to call me or vice versa? I have really big shoulders.....

[treefrog]

Oh Mary. I am so sorry you have to deal with all of this on your own. I can't even imagine having to care for a child, with all you have going on.

Mary, I hope that you can have someone go to your next doctors appointment with you. Someone to listen, and remember things your doctor tells you. Write down all the questions you have about your situation, what procedure they are recommending, what is expected if you have the decompression, or if you don't. Ask them to explain everything so that you understand what they are telling you, don't leave there not understanding. You cannot make a decision, if you don't understand all the ramifications of your condition.

I don't know what else to tell you. If there were some way I could actually help you with Amiah, I would be there in a heartbeat. My heart aches for you, every time you post.

But, you have to do something to change your condition. You can't go on living like this, and you can't give your baby the best care, when you are in pain and can't move. Something has to change. You need to determine what your options are, and then decide what is best. And the only way you can do this, is to know what all these options are and what they mean to you, your condition.

I really hope something gives soon Mary.

[Katie]

Mary, are you there? Everything OK? Please respond.....we care.

[Nairek]

Mary,

I wish you weren't so far away. I'd say let's go get some coffee & chat.

Karin

[Terry Newton]

Mary:

Hang in there. Life is challenging right now for you but I know you will get this resolved and behind you soon. The decompression surgery sounds like a good option though, it might be good to get a second opinion so that you can feel comfortable with the original decision. I know your system has difficulties in getting this done so, maybe it is time to accept the surgeons recommendation. God be with you and I hope this gets fixed soon for you. Can you up the pain medication some? Have your tried Lyrica for the nerve pain? that was a miracle drug for me.

Take care Mary. It hurts to hear you in so much pain but I know you can get to the other side. I prayed to die before my surgery as the pain was so bad that I had had enough. I am grateful for almost being three years post-op this November 4th. Time flies and the surgery was well worth it. Maybe this is the push to have you make the decision soon to get it done and become pain free soon.

We are all there for you.

Terry Newton

[Mary.Mary]

I just want to say a great big THANK YOU to all of you for your support!! I am so vert thankful that I have the ability to come on to this forum and express what it is I am feeling and know that you all understand.

The other day when I made this thread I was honestly at my wits end, frustrated with not being able to be the person I was and be the mother I want/have to be. I guess when I try to explain to people how i am feeling and they try to say to me- oh, well why can't you just learn to live with it and stop letting it consume you etc...

I am going to see my gp on Monday, I don't have an appt but I don't care I am just going to show up and make them see me, then i want him to book me to see another surgeon to get a 2nd opinion like you all said.

I don't know where I would be right now if it wasn't for you all, I hope you understand how much you are appreciated and LOVED!! I guess it is safe to say;

"God won't bring you to, what he can't bring you through"

Wishing all the Mother's out there a VERY HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!

All my LOVE ALWAYS!!
Mary

[Terry Newton]

Mary:

We need new pictures of that little baby. She is so cute and precious. Every time I look at your avatar it brings a smile to my face. I bet she is loads of fun.

Terry Newton

[Katie]

Phew, thank heavens you signed in to let us know you are OK. As Terry said, we have all been at the end of our rope, and I was truly worried about you.

I also agree with him about upping your pain meds. That was what got me through this...without an increase in mine I doubt I would be here today. I had lost the ability to cope.

Mary, you are so young and have had to cope with a lifetime of problems and grief. So you know that you are stronger than most and can get through this, no matter how dark it seems.

It is amazing how much strength we can draw on when we need to do it for our children. I'm glad you have her there to brighten your days.

Happy Mothers' Day to you too! Enjoy it to the fullest, and stick to your guns tomorrow and talk to that doctor!

[Mary.Mary]

KATIE~ I am very appreciative for all your concern and kind words!! I PROMISE that I won't just disappear off the face of the earth without first letting you know!! It is nice to know you have someone who cares so deeply for you, even though you have never met!!

TERRY~ Once I figure out what is wrong with my camera I will post a new picture of her. She for sure is loads of fun, she cracks me up with the things she does, it is AMAZING how much she is like her daddy. The way she walks, her facial expressions etc..I am SO THANKFUL that I have her to remind me of him everyday!!

Wishing you all a wonderful Sunday!! I will keep you posted when I get back from my dr tomorrow!!

Take Care
Mary