[Spinal Fusion / Lumbar] Spinal Fusion L5-S1

[KBear]

Susanna,
Yay, you are home and on the other side!!!! I read a book that I think was called "Heaven is Real" and was full of stories about people who died and came back, from nurses and such and they all had the similar theme of "I was so happy and at peace and didn't want to leave." I will have to look and see if I still have it (I may have loaned it to someone), but if I do, I will mail it to you, it was a great read. I also have one called 90 Minutes in Heaven from a Baptist Minister who was pronounced dead 2 times on the scene of a wreck and they were just waiting for the Justice of the Peace to come give the final before they took his body away. Well, he came back, it's an awesome story- will look for it too.
I need your cell/home number so I can call you one of these days. I have AT&T cell so I can call anyone AT&T for free; but I also have like 10,000 minutes, that I will never use, so can call you on a home phone too and it's free to me. Glad you are doing so good after surgery.
With love,
Kathy

[Susanna]

Ok, this is my second try to get this photo loaded!

[Cindylou]

Susanna, it looks good, but OUCH! I also have a posterior incision (ALIF and lami) that was made longer with my SI Joint Fusion. We have the "Chucky" doll look!! Do-do-do-do....do-do-do-do. On a more serious note, it really sounds like you are coping well and minimizing your pain meds, without your husband there to boot. I think an angel is watching over you. Rest up and God speed, Cindylou

[Cindylou]

Oh, almost forgot. Before my bestfriend died, while I believe she was beginning to cross over, she kept saying under her breath how peaceful it was, and beautiful. It's all good, she kept saying. What a comforting thing to hear her say, even though it was bittersweet, as well.

[Susanna]

Well it has been a rough couple of nights. I don't understand why my body is crashing when it comes to night time.

Every time I head off to bed, I feel "normal" (or what ever that is for now!) So let me put this in perspective,

It may be about 10:30 pm, and I decide it's time to start heading off to bed. There are a few things that need to be done before I can hit the hay. First I get the kitchen straightened up. Now that doesn't mean I doing dishes or anything, I usually will just put the dishes that have been left on the counter in the sink, run water into them to soak, and wash the counter clean. (my kids just don't understand what the word "clean" means, but I swear, by the time I am completely well, they will!!!)
Then I cut up some meat for my cat to eat during the night (he is a raw meat eater)
Stir up a concoction of Miralax to "keep me moving"
Lock the front door
Grab my cell phone to charge
Fill my water bottle
Grab my Percocet
Grab my cat
Waddle off toward the bedroom.
My cat is toilet trained and is really freaked out by the walker and my grab it thingy. So I have been trying to take him to his toilet (yes he has his very own toilet) without using the walker. It is a short walk, but I have found that standing for more than a few seconds is exhausting. Ole has a routine that involves me flushing the toilet, snapping my fingers, splashing the water and picking him up and putting him on the toilet. This is much more difficult since I am not suppose to bend, twist, or lift. Ole weighs about 13 lbs, and I have to bend slightly to pick him up to put him on the toilet. He will usually jump up onto the toilet for me to pick him up, but even then I have to bend a little. So I have been trying to squat, instead of bend. After one night of him refusing to go potty because of his fear of all the extra equipment, I have been just standing in his bathroom a lone. I find this to be very tiring, but the process goes by much faster!

So once I have taken care of him, I am set to brush my teeth, take my migraine med's and get dressed for bed. By the time I do all of this, it is 12:30. I couldn't believe that it could take me this long to get all of this done! And now I'm way past time to have medication, and am writhing in pain.

That was the first night. It took taking 2 percocets at 12:30, another one at 3:30 and another one at 6:30 before I finally felt like I was getting any relief. And on top of it all, I had HOT flashes the whole time. MOST UNPLEASANT!

Then last night, a friend I haven't seen since last July came over to watch a movie and talk. Her husband left her in January and her ovarian cancer returned last fall. So she has had a tough year. Our movie ended around 11:30. I had last taken 1/2 a tablet of percocet at 9:30 and had been trying to remember to do so every 4 hours through out the day, though I hadn't been very good about it. I had gotten up to go to the bathroom and she was getting ready to leave. I walked her to the door and she chatted at the door for way too long, as I can only stand for a few minutes, even with the walker. I knew she needed to talk and didn't want to discourage her, as she needed to purger her heart, but I could feel the strength draining out of me.

As she left, my daughter came home. I had her do some of the things I needed, like getting Ole food and such. Ole did his potty business really quickly, which was fortunate, but once I got to my bed and I took my percocet, I was absolutely broken in pain. My daughter could hear me moaning in her room upstairs over her radio, and came down to check on me, (thank God her room is above mine) She got my migraine medication, waterbottle filled, humidifier filled and turned on, dressed for bed and turned off the light. I would have just layed there and prayed, waiting for the pain to subside with the 2 percocet that I had taken. Once again, I didn't sleep last night. I set my alarm to wake me up every 4 hours and took 2 percocet until the morning hours, when I started to just take half. I actually finally fell asleep at 8 a.m. and slept until 11 solidly. Once again, Hot flashes! or is this some kind of reaction to the Percocet? My house is anything but warm.

So today I have been taking 1/2 a percocet every 4 hours, like clock work (my alarm is set and going off, for perfect timing) and will start taking 2 percocet at 11pm. (although I may start taking a whole one at 7 pm for now on)

Even taking 1/2 of one every 4 hours I am feeling groggy. I hate that. And I don't feel like I get any great pain relief. But maybe the grogginess is more due to no sleep last night. IDK. But I have to find a way to stave off this HUGE on slaught of pain I have been getting at night.

My life is an experiment of sorts!

Susanna

[ajj1001]

Wow, you are doing so much, too much???? Probably your body saying at night time "hello remember me, I need some time to heal".

[Susanna]

Really? You think I'm doing too much? But I thought they didn't want us just laying around? Well, you have to realize that I am here pretty much a lone. I actually think I would be better off if my two kids (18 on Sept 26th and 21 on Jan 20th) weren't here! I mean, they mess up the house, more than they actually help. I could have sent our dog with my husband, but didn't because he really is better off here and hates to fly.

I am just so tired of laying down and resting. But I hate a dirty house! And they really don't know how to clean. My daughter, the almost 18 year old, left for the day and got home at 12:30 a.m. I told her that she needed to clean up the kitchen, load the dishwasher and start it before going to bed. I told her I expected she wash the counters too. She replied, I'll do it in the morning. NO WAY! I told her that's how you get ants, and gnats in your house and all sorts of bugs. I wouldn't let her not do it. The last time I let her "not do it tonight" she didn't do it for 3 days. I finally just did it myself. I couldn't stand it. I think this was before my surgery. I can't do that now. So I am not letting the leash go one inch! I know too well what I will get!

Well, I have been doing school booster business all day and I absolutely have to go to bed. I should sleep since I haven't slept in days!

I will think about what you said. But could you tell me what I should be doing? or Not doing? I just can't lay here on the couch all day and sleep! right?

Susanna

[Cindylou]

Susanna, you are doing too much. Way too much. And perhaps if you feel you are laying on the couch all day (which I highly doubt you are), then your night time routine is taking way too long. You have a 21 and 18 year old. Get your husband on the phone with them to give them a good talking to. Something like: your Mother has just had major surgery and I am counting on you two, as adults, in my absence, to pitch in and help your Mom through this ordeal, so she can concentrate on her recovery. And have him give them specifics. Somehow, they need them. Another possible suggestion.....have you considered anti-anxiety medication while you are healing? If an unkempt house (and I get it, I'm a neat freak) is doing you in, this medication would help take the edge off that obsession. Just a thought. Also, (sorry, I'm full of suggestions) I am wondering if you are actually under-medicating during this healing phase. ?? Trust me, your recovery will take longer if your pain isn't managed consistently. On the cat issue. At bedtime, if both of your kids are home, they need to alternate this nightly routine. You absolutely should not be lifting a 13 pound cat. Period. When I had my ALIF and lami, our cat was still alive, and my husband was on kitty litter control. He absolutely HATED cleaning the litter box (who likes it?!) and had never done it until my surgery, but guess what chump....it's your chore now! It had to be that way. Allow your body time to heal. That's what it needs.

[KBear]

I agree with Allison & CL, you are doing waaay too much. You are just a week out of surgery, major surgery. I was pretty much laying around, napping, and taking short walks at the 1 week point. Trust me, I get the clean house thing, OCD is an understatement for what I am. I have learned to let it go, it can wait until tomorrow, the house won't collapse, you won't have bugs or rodents for letting the small things slide (I get doing the dishes, but the kids have to do this for you, they can also wipe a counter- I will tell you, I'm still teaching my hubby that the counter has to be wiped every time you do something in the kitchen). I have had 3 baskets of clean laundry sitting in my living room for a week now, just waiting on me to fold it. I haven't felt great with the morning sickness, so I'm just not doing it yet. Yeah, I have to dig through it to find a clean item every now and then, but it's okay (before I was hurt, this would have never have happened, I was such a neat freak). I think one of the huge positives that has come from my back pain is that I am not such a neat freak and so worried about everything being perfect. Before I was so busy cleaning and picking up 24/7, that I didn't stop and smell the roses, enjoy my kids and let them be kids, now I do. I got hurt when my 2nd daughter was 2 weeks old and I enjoyed her so much more than my first, because I couldn't maintain the busyness I had with the first, and I did sit around and just hold her and play with her. I honestly believe that one of the reasons God allowed this in my life, was to slow me down and make me enjoy my life, not go through the motions (kind of ironic, but true).

I think having hubby call the kids and tell them they have to help you is a great idea. One thing my dad did, that I hated at the time, but I plan on doing with my kids, is once we turned 18 we were required to have adult responsibilities. I did the grocery shop for my dad and 2 brothers, my older brother who was 20 had to do the laundry for our younger brother, dad and himself (I did my own). We had to cook, clean and run the house. If we didn't do our chores, we were required to pay rent to live there, we either 'earned' our keep or payed for it. I thought it was so unfair at the time and that my dad was so mean, but it really taught us responsibility. My parents are divorced and I had lived with my mom until I was 18 and I left her house totally unprepared for life on my own. She had always done my laundry, folded it, put it away, did the dishes, everything; we didn't do any chores, other than clean our room. I didn't know how to work a washing machine, dishwasher, etc. when I left her house; my dad taught me all these things. Okay, that was totally off topic, but just some ideas.

[ajj1001]

I will think about what you said. But could you tell me what I should be doing? or Not doing? I just can't lay here on the couch all day and sleep! right?

Susanna

You should only be doing things that are therapeutic for your healing, I did lots of moving around and little stretchy exercises, I couldn't sit or lie flat but housework or helping others were not part of my schedule.

I am similarly a complete "tidy/neat/get it done before anyone else does it freak" to CL and Kathy. You just have to get over it until you have a fusion. Doing the right stuff now means that this will come about sooner so its a question of perspective.