Hi Cher
That sounds really horrible. Does being in a particular position make it feel any better/worse?
My hubbie is similar but being poorly still from my second surgery (the first being 7 years ago after spine issues 9 years ago) he is having a long haul. Being consistent in your communication with him as to what you need and how he is going to get support from others will help.
The main thing that has helped us, that I wouldn't want to happen to anyone else, is that he had major heart surgery in 2004. I was better at this point and the role reversal showed us that the "in sickness and health" bit was for real for both of us. He took 18 months to recover and we have both got really good at knowing how the other wants looking after. He hates being fused over, nursed etc. whereas I like him to do things and fetch things to cheer me up but don't like being asked how I am all the time.
We joke alot and that helps us make a difficult situation easier. Having other people that can take some of the load helps alot.
alison x



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, completely pain free still!

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